In this dream I returned to work after a 2-week vacation, but the job I was returning to was as a department manager at Fred Meyer, which in reality is a job I left in 1999. When I arrived, as is usually the case when I dream I return to this job after an absence, I was wearing the wrong clothes. They had had a change in the work attire policy while I was gone, and I was not made aware of it. In addition, there were some drastic changes made that I was unaware were happening, in the form of a remodel of the department. At one point in the dream, I realized that I had received notification, but had forgotten about it.
Part of the way through the day, I decided to run home and change, so that I would be in uniform. At this point I hopped on my shiny new blue motorcycle, and headed out the mountain road to my house. Now, to get to my house, I had to ride along a long, rickety, winding wooden walkway of sorts, on either side of which was murky green water. I was very nervous about this, and slowed down to a crawl. I eventually went so slow, that I fell into the water, trying to hang onto the bike with my left hand, and my large, empty purse with my right. I managed to pull myself out, along with my purse, but the motorcycle was already several feet under the surface of the water, and I was unable to save it. I was happy, though, to have saved the purse, maybe it wasn’t as empty as it seemed? It seemed like that was pretty important to me. I walked the rest of the way home, wet and miserable, planning what I would need to do at this point – call work and let them know I wouldn’t be back today, call the insurance company, arrange to have the bike retrieved, if that was even possible.
I arrived at home, which was little more than a shack, opened the door, and there was my boyfriend, unemployed, unwashed, unmotivated, (and unwelcome, I might add – the person standing there was the man I was with when I first moved to Alaska.) Rather than helping me deal with the situations at hand, he added to my feeling of unease and frustration.
All aspects of this dream point to my own lack of self-confidence.